Life: Why I Cancelled My Wedding...


It's something every little girl dreams of, right? A fancy wedding with your perfect man by your side and all of your friends and family watching on. Not to mention the fancy dress, the flowers, the food...need I go on?

I thought this was what I wanted too. Oh, how wrong I was.

Nath asked me to marry him almost 2 years ago and when we became engaged, I wasn't even thinking about planning a wedding. I'd thought about it a million times before that, and got totally sucked in by wedding fever when his sister got married the year before but I imagined us having a long engagement and getting married a few years later when the time was right and we were a little older and had more money to put behind it.
Then out of nowhere came the conversation I didn't think I'd have. And then started the wedding planning.

Within a month or two we had successfully pinned down a ceremony venue, reception venue, caterer and photographer. I'd made a start on my save the date cards and, speaking of pinning things down - Pinterest had become my new best friend.
I knew I never wanted a big wedding. I have a tiny family compared to some and only a few close friends whom I'd really want to share it with but I always imagined the extravagant details. I'd make everything by hand, and the place would be full of bunting and candles and would be beautiful.

But as we started planning, life got in the way. We moved into our first home together, we both started focusing a lot more on our jobs and earning money to fund said house, and the wedding seemed to fall by the wayside. Then came the start of 2016 and with only 8 and a half months to go until the big day, we were both far from excited.

So we cancelled it.

We cancelled the photographer. We cancelled the caterer. We cancelled the reception venue. I cancelled my dreams of having a fancy hand-beaded dress all the way from Australia (Anna Campbell, I'm looking at you babe...) and we started again.

The truth is, weddings are bloody EXPENSIVE. And when you're 23 and earning near enough minimum wage with a house to pay for, ain't no gal got £10,000 to drop on one day. Call me pessimistic but that's all it really is isn't it. ONE DAY! Of course, it's the most special and amazing day of your life but the sensible soul in me could never forgive myself if we spent our entire savings on one day that was over in the blink of an eye.

We still had our little slot at the register office though and while we contemplated cancelling that too and waiting a few years, the both of us got a bit emosh and decided that there was no time like the present and that we would get married in August no if, ands or buts. But do it simple and relaxed and our way. Not the way we thought we 'should' do it.
We're swapping our caterer for a meal with our nearest and dearest in one of our favourite local restaurants. We've swapped our fancy reception venue for a relaxed and fun summer garden party at the in-laws, We've swapped our photographer for a load of iPhone and camera shots taken by our guests. And I've swapped what I thought was my £1500 dream Anna Campbell dress for my actual DREAM dress that is costing me a mere £250 - but don't be disheartened, it's absolutely beautiful.

The year is absolutely whizzing past and I can't believe it's almost March already and even though we still have a lot of things to check off in the way of wedding planning, we are both feeling so much happier about not spending a small fortune but actually having the day that we want - not what we think we should want - instead. What really matters after all is that we are making a commitment to each other that day and celebrating the start of the rest of our lives together.


Always, Alice x


31 comments :

  1. It's all about the moments you have and share with the person you love, not the luxuries of what we think is supposed to make up the perfect wedding day. This post is super real and I wish you nothing but the best! xo

    McKenzie | therosynook.com

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    1. Thankyou so much McKenzie, and you're totally right it's not about the big show but the commitment tbe day signifies :) x

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  2. Good for you! Such a sensible attitude and I'm of the opinion that I'd much rather get on the property ladder first before paying for a wedding. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness, whether that's with a ring or your finger or not!
    Cx
    charliedistracted.com

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    1. Couldn't agree more, there's so many more important things in life than a big party! Thank you so much :) x

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  3. Aw I love this, it must be so easy to get carried away with wedding planning when really it's not about the wedding it's about who you're marrying! The garden party idea sounds like it will be so cute, plus you'll probably feel much more relaxed on your wedding day! Good luck with it :)
    Amy xx Call Me Amy

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    1. I know, there's so much to a wedding that it's easy to forget why you're doing it in the first place! Thanks Amy :) x

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  4. Lovely post. Nobody should ever feel pressured to spend thousands of pounds on a wedding, just as you say it's only one day of the year and as long as your friends and family and the people you love are by your side then that's all that matters!

    Toni x
    www.clarkecouture.co.uk

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  5. Lovely post! Weddings shouldn't be about how much money is spent and life does usually get in the way of other things. What is important is that your happy with Nath and your both working towards the same things in life. Personally I love the idea of being engaged but marriage is a whole different ball game, it's hard to save up for so many things at once where you could be using that money to really enjoy life together as a couple :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

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    1. I know, it's so easy to get carried away and forget what the actual point of the whole day is, so I'm glad we've found it now :) x

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  6. You should be proud of yourself for truly speaking your mind and knowing what it is that you actually want. Well done you and I'm excited to hear more about the big day! x
    http://my--socalledlife.blogspot.com.au/

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    1. Thankyou Kate! I'll keep you updated :) x

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  7. We did exactly the same! We had a big fancy wedding all planned in our home city with 100 odd guests (some I had never met) and almost completely lost ourselves and our personalities in the process. Then we finally pumped the brakes and decided what we really wanted was an intimate wedding with only our very closest so we 'eloped' to Cornwall and put more money into things we felt really mattered to us.

    A lot of people were upset with us but at the end of the day it was our wedding and marked the beginning of our journey into marriage together.

    Hannah | Granite City Girl x

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    1. Good for you gal! We were worried about people being upset with us too especially as our ceremony is tiny so we have had to be ruthless with our guest list. But at the end of the day it's our day and while it's nice to have our family and friends there, it's all about us and not them x

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  8. This was such a lovely post. There's nothing wrong with a big fancy wedding if that's what you want and can afford, but so many people get themselves into debt over the pressure of having the biggest and most perfect wedding that ever existed.

    I'm sure you'll have the most amazing day, and it'll probably end up even more special now. I hope it goes fabulously for you both. :)

    Katie | daydreamkatie.co.uk

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    1. Oh yeah, I'm slightly envious of those who can afford a big fancy wedding as I'm sure it's what we'd all do if we could afford it but for us money isn't disposable and we just want a special day that we're going to remember for the rest of our lives but for all the right reasons :) thank you so much Katie! x

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  9. This was very interesting to read, I think there is too much pressure on people to have huge weddings and invite very single cousin and friend. I've always wanted a small and quick wedding - but all that money to go into my future house! x

    Natasha Kendall | Beauty and Lifestyle

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    1. There really is and while it's nice to have a big family wedding, I've seen first hand what happens afterwards if you couldn't really afford it in the first place and it's not nice! There's nothing at all wrong with a simple wedding :) x

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  10. I loved reading this, it was so interesting. I agree big weddings are not all that, it's about who you're marrying not how you get married.

    www.themakeupaficionado.com

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    1. Exactly! Of course this is just my opinion and big weddings are lovely if that's your thing but I am more sentimental about the fact that it's about marrying someone you love :) x

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  11. I love this so much. We've decided to go to NYC soon, just the 2 of us. I cannot justify nor really want to spend so much on one day. 3k and we'll be married whilst having a great adventure too. Selfish perhaps but we're so very happy x

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  12. This is literally adorable. Can't wait to see the dress for a start (!) but it's so helpful of you to post about your story, puts things into perspective for the rest of us, I think you've summed it up well but for us brides to be, it's about the boy isn't it :)

    www.Barely There Beauty.com | British Beauty & Lifestyle blog

    xx

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  13. Love this post, I'm glad it's worked out in the end for you! The day you have planned instead sounds lovely. I don't think I could imagine spending so much on one day at this age either x

    eleanorfrances.com

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  14. This was really interesting to read and quite a refreshing perspective! I can't wait to see the dress!

    Ella - ellapitt.blogspot.co.uk

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  15. Such a cool read! Well done for doing the mature thing... I think some people get so caught up in big wedding (and spending all the money) that they must struggle after!

    Laura - justblueflint.com

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  16. I’m completely with you, originally I wanted such a lavish wedding but when it comes down to costs I just don’t think I could justify spending around £15k on just one day which when I was looking at costs mine was coming to. You need to do what you feel most comfortable with and I love the idea of what you have planned :)

    Charlee XO | CharmedCharlee

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  17. This is a great post!!!!! I recently got engaged and EVERYONE is asking when the "Big Day" will be... Note: It will NOT be big! I admire you for having the guts to make the change. It's definitely best to enjoy the happy day without worrying about money!

    www.rockonholly.com

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  18. I think this is a really brave post to write and put out there. For me a wedding is all about spending it with the right people who mean the most, everything else is just details.

    Beka. xo | littleworldofbeka

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  19. I love this post! My bf and I have been together exclusively for over 15 years. We have two kids, two cars, two dogs and we bought our first house 3 years ago. I don't want a big wedding and I'm fine without a wedding at all. After this long it feels a little silly since it's about as official as it can get at this point :)

    I never really understood spending so much money on one day. If I had a lot of money, I'd rather go on a family vacation/honeymoon somewhere like Hawaii. Hope your wedding is great!

    New follower :)

    Nereyda│ This Girl Is Obsessed

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  20. As somebody who is a little older, no wiser but has gone through this 'performance' I think what you're doing sounds absolutely perfect. You're keeping the day about you guys as a couple and spending it with your fave people at your fave places. That's what getting married is, having a wedding is completely different. I so regret having a weddi and not getting married and would definitely change almost every single thing if I could! (FYI, I did get a hand beaded Australian gown though, which I adored) xx

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  21. I love how honest this post is, good on you both for coming to this decision, it must have been tough! A cute little idea I saw was to buy a huge pack of disposable cameras for each guest/table and leave it to them to take photos, then at the end you collect them and you'll have hundreds of photos from different points of views! x

    Albana Janjeva | Stylist | Lingerie of The Month X Stella McCartney Giveaway!

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